Forgive me for my lack of enthusiasm.

It's amazing to me how much of an effect my physical condition can have on my emotional spirit. I beg your pardon if there are typing errors in this post. But I can hardly see the computer screen, and I'm having problems feeling my hands. There's a tingling sensation running throughout my body. It's as if my body is half asleep. Though, the worst of my symptoms would have to be this dreadful dizzyness. I feel like I'm in the air, spinning around everyone. This situation, obviously, makes it very hard to focus my eyes on any particular subject; hence, my problems seeing the computer screen. The last few days I've been doing my best to ignore these symptoms, as they slowly trudged their way through my body. Unfortunately, I can no longer shelter them from the public. I think the worst part is that I'm happy. My heart is happy, but I'm struggling to express my joy. I've come to think of my health as a barrier between my feelins and my personality. Even though I'm really quite happy, my health causes my body sorrow. This is why I've chosen to ignore the problem for the last few days. I realize that it's probably rather foolish for me to pretend nothing's wrong, but it gave me an extra few days of happiness. I think it was worth it. I'm fairly certain that I'll have to return to Branson for some more treatment in the near future. I wish I could just continue through my happy life here in Iowa, but once again my health does not permit it. I feel like a dog wearing a leash. It doesn't really matter where I want to go. My leash will pull me where it desires. Hmm. Perhaps I'm looking at this the wrong way. Maybe there are some people in Branson who I need to help. I'm sure there's a reason behind all of this madness. I just wish I were less dizzy. Then perhaps I could focus my eyes on the bigger picture. I suppose I ought to explain to you what happened last night. I was on the sidelines, cheering my heart out since the football game was against our infamous rivals, when all of the sudden it hit me. It was just like that, too. It was like a huge wave of water that catches you with your eyes open, only that sting you feel in your eyes... won't go away. I told one of the cheerleaders that I would be right back. I lied. I didn't come back. I walked off of the sidelines and ito the crowd, where I was greeted by a lady who informed me that if I wouldn't have stopped cheering at that point, she was going to come out and get me. Apparently, my face was a bit white. I walked/stumbled to an empty place on the ground and sat there for a while. That just seemed to make the dizzyness worse. When I went to stand up again, I sort of failed. This caught a few people's attention, and half of them went to find my parents while the other have insisted on helping me walk. By the time they'd fetched my parents I was sitting on the ground again, and I was struggling to stay sat up. Mom started spazzing out. She worries too much. :) Thus, I felt the need to be slightly humorous as people were holding me up. I have three ways of dealing with problems. One is with anger, one is with bawling uncontrollably, and one is with making cheesy jokes that will amuse the people around me. I chose the last one. I ended up lying on a blanket or four for the rest of the game, in which I can not neglect to say, we WON. I really do wish I could've cheered the rest of the game. The good news is that we're going on to state playoffs, and I ought to be better by Saturday, right? Anyway, I'd just like to send out a huge thank-you to all of those that were so helpful when I needed it. It means a lot to me. You see, it's times like this that make me want to do something in government, because I know there is hope for the world. *smiles* I don't have much else to say, really. I can't help but be somewhat worried because I had so much planned to do this weekend, particularly school, that I doubt I accomplish. Actually, I might try anyway. I'll just do my best not to stress over it. (yeah right) I'll probably post again soon to let you know when I'll be going down to Branson. In the meantime, I do request your prayers. Thank-you all so much. I'm sorry that my post this time isn't as uplifting. I'll close with something happy.

"There is no such thing as hopeless. Even in your darkest hour, the smiles around you can provide warmth for your heart and joy for your soul."
--Joselynn Diane

I leave you with a smile. God bless you all.